The Mask that deteriorates your face if you don’t know how to use it.

Photo by Jusdevoyage on Unsplash

The feeling of being left out, feeling like you're the outsider, the one with problems, has led to people becoming hypocrites.

This feeling or thought of being looked at differently than others is what causes so many to be so neutral but have a different face with others that gives them that limit to be who they want to be.

I believe everyone reading this has seen Breaking Bad; if not, in a couple words, it’s about a dad in his late 40s that gets diagnosed with cancer and thinks to do the best for his family by cooking meth. Season after season the closest family members knew there was something wrong but didn’t know what it was exactly. And slowly but very painfully, things came apart or fell apart (idk, that’s not the point).

In other words anyone who had or has a passion for something knows this to be very true and that is
“Either it affect all parts of your life, or your life will affect every part of your passion.”

I truly am a die-hard fan; there isn’t an in-between. It is one or the other, not the other and the one.

But now. This society thinks they can be in between. I tell you this very quickly: it has ruined my family and friends.

We are now often too caught up in being presented as “good” and “professional” at what we do so we don’t lose an ounce of respect, which leads to opportunities. No one. I mean, no one likes losing opportunities, whether with good or bad intentions.

Trying to keep a spot or earning a spot is part of life. Hierarchies have been part of society for ages; we all know that Kings are the most respected. We basically have done the same things with positions at jobs and society norms.

Which is fair. But it also has made people fake.
Too scared to say what they feel, too scared to say what they think, too scared to say the truth. Now we made it uncomfortable and unwelcoming, and in case you do say it, you lose our respect. Better keep opinions to yourself because they have the power to remove you, to fire you, to backfire on you, to lower you, to humiliate you, etc…

If I never let you be free. If I never let you speak freely. If I suppress you. Only to the ones that let you be free and let you speak freely—that’s who you are going to be real with, and that’s who you are going to let it all out with.

That’s how you transform it and see what you wanted to turn it into. I am lucky that I am able to find friends that I can be open about topics with and have a good discussion with them without being prejudiced. However, my mother and family members have turned that oppression of hierarchy into different channels.

I believe my mother is most people. That suppression and having to be a doctor for patients and deal with all kinds of complaints daily with her having a smile on her face has made her a mother that comes home and uses that suppression to suppress you. With anger, impatience, and making you feel like you're not enough.

On the other side, I have various family members that turn into anxiety. What? When? How? Why? Who? Where? It's like their suppression and their lack of control have followed them through their life to things they have control over, but they'd rather live in doubt. Instead of doing something about it. They drown in thinking about anything that is unlikely, and because they thought about every single scenario, they say, “I knew it,” and will continue to trust being scared.

The last one is how my father has done it. While it's not perfect. I consider his model the best. Where he knows there is a boundary with people he doesn’t know very well and knows there is a risk to everything no matter what. He knows worrying isn’t going to help and knows that losing patience is temporary relief until it pays back later. He just kind of does what he knows is best; he will be honest with you but knows when to stop talking. He understands the risk and the possible outcomes, but that won’t stop him from achieving it.

One thing I took from this is that no matter how much you explain things to other people, you are here to help them, and they are here to help you, but you can’t do that when you don’t show who you are, and neither can they if they do the same.

“You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself.” from Galileo Galilei

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Photo by Bernd 📷 Dittrich on Unsplash